Resilience…
May 25, 2015
Resilience - the ability of
something to return to its original shape after it has been pulled, stretched,
pressed, bent, etc.
It’s
been some time since I’ve written. I
told Gilbert, my husband, that I believe I was suffering from writers’
block. In truth, things have been a bit overwhelming. I’m
being stretched! I am not a person
to allow myself to become depressed, but I find that I am weary. I’m
being pressed! I’ve religiously gone
to the doctor for my 3-month checkups and each checkup has found
something. Something that has to be
examined further… thyroid… hernia… possibility of endometrial disease…
something. It’s made me… weary… lots of pulling.
My
joy is always boundless when I have to visit Sloan Kettering (MSK). How can you not feel joyful when you receive
the greatest hugs from Nick and Ava?
Last week I visited the chemo building to get my CAT scan and there was MY Nick. I thank God for Nick! He prays for me constantly. He prayed for me as I entered the 53rd Street building. “Stay the course.” 1 Corinthians 16:13 says “Be firm in your faith. Stay brave and strong.” Then as I sat upstairs preparing for my CAT scan, drinking my unsweetened Kool-Aid, I read the MSK newsletter “Bridges”. A survivor says “By handing the keys to my MSK team and the driver’s seat to God, this planner was now the passenger and the ride was about to begin.”
The Director in me has been fighting this. Gilbert can attest to the fact that I’m a Director, especially when he’s driving! “Turn here”; “Turn off your indicator”; “Exactly where are we going?”; “Why are you heading into traffic, when you could make a left here and go around?”; “Didn’t you see the crosswalk?”;
“I can’t see, please turn on the
wipers.”
I had already given the driver’s seat to God but I now realize that my Directorial tendency was rearing its ugly head. I know, I know! God needs the help, right? “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.” Proverbs 3:13-14 “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17
Help
me Lord!
“Do you now believe?” John 16:31 Lord I believe!
Love,
Charmaine Yvette
P.S.: The past two months have been difficult for my
friends and family who have lost loved ones or those who received sad diagnoses. It makes my struggle appear
inconsequential. Please know that I pray
for you. God is a healing God. Trust him and he will heal your sorrow… just
believe. “You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me.” Jeremiah 8:18
