Friday, February 7, 2014

Wait! (February 7, 2014)

February 7, 2014

I had my CAT scan at the end of January.  Something as simple as the injection of dye into my system knocked me over for a full day and a half – I was sick!  Still, I was now excited to see my doctor a few days later.  The good doctor would not tell me anything I didn’t already know.  My faith helped me stand and my God has already spoken.  Going to see my doctor was just a technicality.

My sister, Cheryl, noted that the scriptures all talked about patience – I just didn’t think it was directed to me.  I walked into the doctor’s office a bit upset though.  After she delivered the great news, I begin…

“I’m not sure what is going on, but my last chemo was three weeks ago and I’m still feeling fatigued and beaten up.  Going up the subway steps is like climbing the infinity stairway and having to stand on the train for an hour is hell.”  I begin to describe my plans… “Today I was going to clean up my basement, then I want to re-do my kitchen, we need new back splash – so the old tiles must be removed, I’m looking for a new stove and I definitely need a new dining room table.  I’m hanging new family pictures so I just bought frames.  Then I want the dining room and living room painted and I have to choose a new color and we definitely need to have the floor sanded…”  Before I finish Dr. Makker pipes in “Whoa, whoa!”  Then she begins to explain to me.  She says “We threw an atomic bomb at you to fight this thing.  I am simply amazed that you continued smiling and laughing and working through all of this.  Unfortunately, you will continue to feel this way (weak!) through August or September (OF 2014!!?)  We need for you to rest.  We would like you to take 3-4 weeks off now and just lay around and take things easy.”  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Ephesians 4:2

I begin to cry.  Not for the great news she has just delivered, but the simple fact that I cannot return to my life as it used to be… at least not immediately – be patient!  I get off the elevator at the chemo building and walk directly into a great big hug from Nick (who I learned is also a survivor).  I cry as he hugs me and prays for me.  He thanks God for delivering me and continuing to use me. 

I am not the strong, invincible woman I used to be but I still thank God! 

Reflections says - “Interruptions are nothing new.  Rarely does a day go by as planned.  Life is filled with inconveniences.  Our plans are constantly thwarted by forces beyond our control...  However, inconvenience could be God’s way of protecting us from some unseen danger, or it could be an opportunity to demonstrate God’s grace and forgiveness.  It might be the start of something even better than we had planned. Or it could be a test to see how we respond to adversity.  Whatever it is, even though we may not know God’s reason, we can be assured of His motive - to make us more like Jesus and to further His kingdom on earth.”

…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12



  1. Being patient is something I struggle with for sure. The great news is that you will only continue to feel better and better and better. I like you always have a laundry list of things I want/need to do. Its hard for us to just rest, but rest now before you body forces you to rest. <3

    1. Agreed! Hang in there Yvette, better days and things are still ahead awaiting for your arrival :)

  2. This is the most difficult thing to do. My mind is still going at 1,000mph though!